#banddirectorproblems

This year I've kept a running series of posts on Facebook entitled #banddirectorproblems. Yes, I used a hash tag on Facebook but it'll be ok. I've said all along that at the end of the school year I would compile them into a single blog post. At last, the time has arrived! Here is a years worth of posts about the life of a high school band director. Some of them show the frustrations of teaching music. Some are humorous. A few are even heart warning. If you are a band director, or heck any persuasion of teacher, feel free to share your own experiences in the comment section. 

Band director problems

"Mr. Felkel, my instrument is missing." Walk to shelf. Find it slid all the way to the back. "Is this your flute?" "Where did you find it, I promise I looked EVERYWHERE?" Sigh. #banddirectorproblems

Teaching triplets first thing on a Monday morning right before Christmas break. #banddirectorproblems

So #banddirectorproblems has its first fan! I'm almost a trend setter. Whoo!!

"Mr. Felkel, can I have your number?"

"Sure, it's 867-5309."

#banddirectorproblems

Wait, no that's what makes the job worth doing.

"Mr. Felkel, my fingers are stuck under my valves." 

Face palm 

#banddirectorproblems

9:00 outdoor performance in 32 degree weather? Of course! I'd love to show up just to play the Star Spangled Banner for your shin dig! 

#banddirectorproblems

One, two, one, two, three, four. Beeeeep. 

"I need so and so to the office please."

Sigh. #banddirectorproblems

Teaching the fundamentals of tuning. To a student trying to figure out if he is flat or sharp. 

"When in doubt, pull out."

Class erupts into scandalous laughter. Sigh. 

#banddirectorproblems

"Mr. F, I can't get the notes on my Sax to sound right."

Have student play notes and then look at their reed just to have spit pour over my hand. 

#banddirectorproblems 

Me the first day of band. 

"In music we only use 7 letters A-G. That's it. Just those 7."

Kid today five months later. 

"Mr. F, what letters aren't used as notes?"

#banddirectorproblems 

@SFelkel: Looking up to see that your tenor sax player has jammed a baritone mouthpiece into his instrument. #banddirectorproblems

Student, while holding up his tenor sax, "Mr. F, there mold on it!"

#banddirectorproblems

"Mr. Felkel, so and so got his fingers stuck in his valves again!"

Face palm. 

#definitionofinsanity 

#banddirectorproblems

Headed to Denham Springs for our first ever Winterguard competition with a truck full of guard girls. Too early for this much pep and talk of eyelashes. 

#banddirectorproblems

"Mr. Felkel, my bass isn't working." 

Go turn volume knob up on said bass. 

"Oh, I forgot about that."

Face palm. 

#banddirectorproblems

Just spent a half hour with a metronome cranked to 11 blaring out 120 beats per minute in my ear. 

#banddirectorproblems

Six months of teaching band just to look up and see your trumpet player thinks every note is first valve. 

#banddirectorproblems

"Ok class, what's our dynamic?"

"Metro Forte!"

Sigh. 

#banddirectorproblems 

"My mom is making me quit band because of my grades. She doesn't want me distracted from studying by band."

Yep. Making your kid quit a subject that every study shows improves math, language arts, and discipline will definitely improve their grades. Sigh. 

#banddirectorproblems

No kid, I'm not bipolar, you just piss me off when you claim to know your part and its clear you don't have a clue. 

#banddirectorproblems

While listening to a judges comments:

Student "can I track this guy down and give him a 'surprise adoption'?"

#banddirectorproblems

I have found the best way to frustrate an entire class of band students. Just stop talking and give them all their instructions by sign. 

#banddirectorsuccesses

"Mr. Felkel my saxophone won't play!"

"Ok, show me."

Student proceeds to try to play saxophone with zero air going through it. After said student turns red we look inside the saxophone to find a cleaner still inside. Sigh.

#banddirectorproblems

Student: Mr Felkel, I don't understand why it's Ab in this song but A natural in the other one. 

Me: Well, our key signature tells us whether its flat or natural. See how this song has an Ab and the other one didn't?

Student: Yes sir. But why isn't it flat in both. 

Me: They're in different keys. 

Student: I don't get it. 

Fifteen minute explanation later. Still doesn't get it. 

#banddirectorproblems

Me: "Ok percussion, stand up we're going from the beginning to measure 18."

Percussionist: "uhhhhhh! My butt!"

Shakes head. 

#banddirectorproblems

Subjecting high school students to The Breathing Gym. One of the few great things about being a band director. Yes, I am cruel. 

Finding out that your sub didn't show up for school is frustrating. Learning that your students took it upon themselves to practice and help new players get started on their instruments makes me proud. Yeah, I've got good kids. Sometimes.

I won't lie, my job is quite often frustrating and I often wonder if I'm reaching my students. But somedays the rewards make up for the stress. Having two of my students tell me that they're considering teaching music because of me is one if those rewards.

Love it when a student asks me a question and while I'm trying to answer them they start playing. 

#banddirectorproblems

I love standing on my podium five days before the Spring Concert and no one is paying any attention to me. Said no band director ever.

#banddirectorproblems

Last practice before the spring concert and 8 students are missing. That would be 1/3 of my band. Yep. Frustrated. 

#banddirectorproblems

Doing the math for next year and have realized that my band room won't hold the entire band. The fire Marshall is gonna have a field day with this. 

#banddirectorproblems #goodproblemstohave

Small Band Tip 2. Guest blog by Patrick Neff.

Two Tips in one week! This one is a tip from my friend Patrick Neff. Patrick has thirteen years experience working with small bands. I asked him to guest blog and share some tips with us. He came back with advice on picking music for small bands and I think it's the perfect time to post it. I know I'm busy trying to pick just the right music and I'll be putting some of this to use.

Band tip of the week:
Remember when picking music for your fall show you have lots of things to consider and keep in mind:
1-your audience. You don't always pick music for your audience but if you are looking for support in the community it is important that the crowd is invested some way at least some of the time. If your show is unique and doesn't play to the crowd then You certainly need to pick some stand tunes that will appeal to the audience.

2-Consider the band. I always approach the band with multiple ideas that I have thought of for shows for the next year and get their feedback. I dont always use their advice but I at least keep it in the back of my mind because if they like it then they will sell it to people in school and it helps recruit both for the band and the flags.

3-I do think about what judges will say and think about the show selection to a degree. I have been labeled by some as a rock show person which is funny since I have done Latin jazz twice, phantom of the opera, movie themes twice, and rock shows four times that had various themes. But I have never done a "stand tunes" show like I have seen before.

4-and this is the most important one: Can your band play it?!
I can't tell you how many times I have seen people pick shows that have elements in them that their bands just cannot pull off. I hear "well it wasn't hard when we played it in high school!" Those are the kiss of death words that if you find yourself saying you might just be rationalizing your choice and not making a good decision for your group.
Make sure the arrangements aren't too big for the ensemble either. Such as just because you have three trumpets doesn't mean you can play a song that has three trumpet parts! I have had college bands that couldn't play "big" arrangements just because of he size if the group. It's not the children's capabilities sometimes....sometimes you are limited by numbers and must keep that in mind.

5-and as a side "note" yes pun intended....if there are two versions of a song on the market and you are deciding which to get I say go with the easiest of the two and add to it as your group progresses. I have found that it is easier than "watering down" music.

Just some of my philosophies when choosing music for my bands. I hope this Helps in some way!

Small Band Tip of the Day

Today I thought I'd throw out a tip of the day for small band directors. I won't claim to be a phenomenal band director but I've had to get creative everywhere I've been and I thought I'd share the smidgeon that I know. Today's tip concerns guitars.

If you have a guitar in your band, and you should its 2013 after all, then you can easily use them to cover the oboe part. Lets face it, the odds of finding a guitar player are way higher than finding an oboe player in a rural school. And truthfully with the way music programs are shrinking I don't feel that we can turn guitar players away. I have two. Depending on the piece I have them either cover the missing oboe part, missing bell parts, or occasionally double the flutes. It's a very versatile instrument with a wide range. The other advantage is that guitars tune way better than oboes.

If you have an electric bass, and I really think you should as it adds tremendous depth, then you can use them to double the trombones, baritones, or the bassoon. Some pieces will have a part for a stand up bass and quite a few publishers have started publishing stand tunes with bass parts. Tuba parts don't work as well since they're written an octave down from where the guitar plays. If there isn't a bass part I tend to assign them to the bassoon part. If the piece doesn't call for a bassoon I go for either the trombone or baritone depending on whichever closest matches the tuba line.

If you'd like more tips on using guitars in your band then check out my book "Three Chords and Prayer". It's available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Teachers Pay Teachers and Smashwords. Check it out. Help me spread the word. Feel free to share your own tips in the comments section.

Afternoon project

So, you all know that after a lifetime of being a lazy couch potato I've turned into my father. By that I mean I have a hard time sitting still. I don't mean that I've become a hippy. No, seriously the man has long hair, throws up the peace sign everywhere he goes and is still protesting Vietnam. For better or for worse I seem to have inherited the desire to tinker endlessly. Oftentimes my skills don't come close to matching my desire. Tory was a little different. We're almost done with Winterguard for the season and after a ton of help and support from TCA I decided it was time to say thank you. What is Winterguard and TCA? The only way I can describe Winterguard is flag line to the power of awesome. TCA is our local independent group of which my guards teacher is a member. They run an excellent camp every summer for local color guards as well as help everyone in the area at competitions. They're the first ones to show up to help lug equipment, always have a kind word for the performers and are just generally good people. Sadly, they are also lacking in a cart to drag around their gear including a hundred plus pound floor cover. Well, were lacking. I thought that a nice way to thank them for everything they do was to build them one. Now, again, I am not a master carpenter but I do know how to measure and cut. Off to Lowes we go! Sorry Dave. Just not a Home Depot fan.

Saturday felt like a great day to do dude stuff like work out, go shooting or roll with the guys. Alas, none of those were to be. So Johnathon and I headed to Simmons in search of bullets and then onto Lowes to make a shopping list to present to Whitney. The search for rounds was a success. The search for a speed loader still not so much. The shopping list was quickly made however and emailed to Whitney who agreed to meet me at Lowes this morning to buy the stuff. I almost talked myself out of the job since I found a floor dolly on sale for not much more than I could build it for. I think in the end they opted to go with me building them one just to make me feel useful but I'm glad they did. It was actually a good bit of fun and its satisfying getting to handmade something for someone. All totaled the materials cost about $75 and took an hour or so to put together. As you can see from the pictures the dogs even got in on the action. Now it just needs a paint job but I'll leave that for someone more creative than me. Not bad I think for a guy with a cold huh?

Were it not for music, we might in these days say, the Beautiful is dead. ~Benjamin Disraeli

Strange fact: Your ribs move about 5 million times a year, every time you breathe!

“But often some secret thought lurking within us, or even some outward circumstance, turneth us aside. Many are secretly seeking their own ends in what they do, yet know it not. They seem to live in good peace of mind so long as things go well with them, and according to their desires, but if their desires be frustrated and broken, immediately they are shaken and displeased. Diversity of feelings and opinions very often brings about dissensions between friends, between countrymen, between religious and godly men.”

Excerpt From:Thomas a Kempis. “The Imitation of Christ.”

My Darling Wife

At the moment my darling wife is at the beach for a bachelorette party leaving me here home alone. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm glad she's having a good time and I enjoy a little alone time, but I do miss that woman dearly. If you've met my wife you know that the term "handful" was coined with her in mind. But I've come to realize that she possesses an abundance of positive qualities. Chief of which is her fierce and unwavering loyalty. She is also a very driven woman. As the good books says "A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies." I'd say that applies to my wife.

It's not easy being married to a band director. I suspect the only thing worse would be a coach. In the fall there's marching practice, football games, parades, and contests. In the spring there's winter guard, concerts, after school practice, and of course contests. Add church choir director on top of that and what do you get? A wife who spends a lot of time home alone. Now, a lot of ladies would take this opportunity to go their own way and honestly I couldn't blame her if she did. Instead she has spent considerable time helping me with whatever I am involved in. I've lost count of how many hours she has spent slinging nachos in the concession stand. Standing in as DJ at a valentine dance. Chaperoning trips. Or just generally keeping me sane. More than once I have come home ready to throw in the towel. What does she do? Go get a six pack of Abita Strawberry and juicy steaks.

Now, if you know me you know that I have a hard time sitting still. I really like to workout, shoot bows, guns and tinker with numerous projects. My wife has gone to great lengths to try my many hobbies with me. First we went to the gun range. Let me tell you, she's a pretty nice shot. Put a revolver loaded with .38+p in her hand and she can kill anything that threatens her, me, or our loved ones. I will NEVER come home with lip stick on my collar. The logical next step was to get her her own weapon. Be afraid. Be very afraid. From there we moved to my first love. Archery. L&M, sadly closed, supplied us with a nice little PSE recurve that she handles quite well. She is also pretty hot wielding it. I wish I had a video of her trying my longbow though. That was interesting. But if the electricity ever goes out a la Revolution we got this.

Her newest hobby though is Crossfit. Hannah was always very athletic and is highly competitive. Shocking I know. Our lives have stayed so busy lately that getting exercise in has proven problematic to say the least. A few months back she told me that she wanted to try crossfit. I, being an encouraging husband, told her to go try it out. So she did. At 5:00 in the morning! And of course I've been drug into it now. She has kicked butt too! Between that, our garage gym that's coming together, and a quasi paleo diet we've dropped about 13 pounds a piece and our performance levels have gone way up. Words can't describe how proud I am of that chick. And thats why my wife is cooler than yours. Even if she is a La Tech alum.


Fun fact of the day. The sentence "The quick brown fox jumps over a lazy dog." uses every letter of the alphabet!

"Music is the art which is most nigh to tears and memory." ~Oscar Wilde

"True it is that every man willingly followeth his own bent, and is the more inclined to those who agree with him. But if Christ is amongst us, then it is necessary that we sometimes yield up our own opinion for the sake of peace. Who is so wise as to have perfect knowledge of all things? Therefore trust not too much to thine own opinion, but be ready also to hear the opinions of others. Though thine own opinion be good, yet if for the love of God thou foregoest it, and followest that of another, thou shalt the more profit thereby.”

Excerpt From:“The Imitation of Christ.” Thomas a Kempis

Writing Update

So, in addition to being a terrible blogger I am a painfully slow writer. Some of that has to do with just how stupid busy I stay with work. Being a band director, especially for a program that's being rebuilt from the ground up, is not a five day a week job. There is not really a lot of down time to spend with my wife much less pet projects like writing. The fall is the worst time for me. Every Friday night is football in the south. Luckily for me Hannah is both a sport fan and doesn't mind helping in the concession stand. Well, I say doesn't mind. I'm told I owe her something shiny.

Where does all this leave me and my meager attempts at writing? Well, it leaves me with a host of unfinished first drafts. My biggie is short fantasy novel named The Blackthorn Knights. Hopefully it will be the first in a series. I've got it out being edited right now and hopefully the cover will be done soon. It combines several of my favorite things including my love of archery. In the meantime I'm putting together an anthology of shorts. I've got a few shorts that were previously published that I'd like to polish up and re-edit. I've had another short or two bouncing around for awhile that I just haven't finished up yet. Plus two new ones just for this set. Eta? No clue. It goes in fits and starts. I'm about 8k words or so into a little zombie short. The ending, if there ever really is an end to zombie stories, is still eluding me. I have put some touches on a second draft sci if vignette. I put it up on my tumblr account if anyone wants to check it out. I've also got an idea for some fan fiction that's rolling around in the back of my head. Why fan fiction? About what? Well, it's a Star Trek fan fic. Yes, I am a nerd. You should know this by now. Apart from being kinda fun I think it could be good practice for original works.

If you've made it this far into my ramblings then your life is even more boring than mine is. But, hopefully soon there'll be some new stuff up for your entertainment. When that time comes help me buy my wife something shiny. She needs something to keep her company while I'm at a festival or making a drive to a winter guard competition.

Lets talk caveman

So, it's been forever and a day since I posted a blog. I suppose that you want to hear about how the last year and a half has gone for us. Or maybe you want to hear about my writing. I have still Ben doing that when I've had time. Maybe you want to know my thoughts about gun control or other current events. Heaven knows I'm full of opinions about politics, the economy and guns. But I don't want to talk about those things today. Not to say that I won't blog about all of them later. After all it has been a busy year or so and I do have several books coming out. One was just published this weekend. Today though I want to write about something that could get a punch on my man card. Today we're talking about baking. Yep. Muffins.

Friends and family probably already know that Hannah and I are doing a 12 week Body Evolve Challenge. Essentially it's a way to ease into the Paleo diet. What is the Paleo diet? Well that brings us to the caveman part of our lesson. The paleo diet boils down to this, if cavemen ate it then you can eat it. On the menu are meats, fruits, vegetables, and nuts. With the exception of peanuts and cashews. That's it. No grains, dairy, beans, or taters. So, what do cavemen and baking have to do with each other? Easy. It's hard to bake without grains and I'm not good at giving up muffins. So, what's a modern caveman supposed to do? Make his own dang flour to bake with. In this case out of nuts. So that's what I did. Armed with a blender and a bag of pecans I went to work. I ground them up as fine as I could, which wasn't as fine as I'd like, and got busy. Here is the recipe I used and the final product.

1 cup pecan flour
¾ cup coconut flour
½ tsp salt
½ tsp baking soda
2 eggs
¼ cup coconut oil
¼ cup honey
1 cup coconut milk

Mix all the wet and dry ingredients separately the whisk together. Bake at 350 for 15-20 minutes. I also sprinkled some coconut sugar and cinnamon in the mix. They came out moist and semi sweet. We drizzled them with honey and they were delicious. Low carb. Gluten free. Chock full of protein. What more could you want? But where can I get all of these things so I can make these myself? Well, surprisingly the coconut milk and sugar came from Brookshires. The coconut flour we had to get from Fiesta our local health food store. Well, thats all I've got for now. I'll be back as soon as I can to update you on all the more interesting things going on in our lives.