Monday, March 3, 2014

B7 Re-Watch: The Web

Where Can I Watch It:

The episode starts well enough. The opening scene is a creepy shot is a floating point of view flying through a forest covered in spider webs. A low chanting of "they must come" is heard building in intensity. Two shadowy figures are shown awakening as the crescendo reaches it's peak. That's when we ruin the effect by showing a weird dude in a jar. 

We cut to the Liberator where Cally has been possessed telepathically. She brains Vila and sabotages the ship sending it racing through space. Smacking Vila is nothing surprising. Sabotaging the ship might be a little over the top though. The whole thing kinda proves Jenna's point about bringing home random telepathic aliens that you met at a bar. 

Zen refuses to help which honestly isn't surprising. Blake and his crew did comandeer the ship after all. Jenna takes Blake and Avon prisoner but when they reach the flight deck Jenna realizes that it isn't Cally. This prompts a cat fight but Gan comes out of left field to take Cally out. Seriously, where has he been the whole episode?

Not to be outdone Jenna gets her own turn at being possessed. Cally recognizes their psychic attacker as "the lost" an Auronar legend. Why she's already back on duty they never address. 

They reach their destination and get caught in a giant spider web in space. That right there was almost enough to make me turn it off but I powered through. For you dear readers. 

Behold, Terry Nation phoning it in. 

Blake teleports down and encounters a bunch of midgets who look like anthromorpized sperm. Seriously. 

There's a phallic joke in here somewhere. I just can't out my finger on it. 

Blake learns, from our creepy David Bowie look alikes, that the midgets are called the Decimas.  and we're genetically engineered by the lost. The duo were also created as part of experiments in immortality. The Lost have decided that the Decimas need to be wiped out but they don't have the power. Bartering with Blake for power cells in exchange for helping the Liberator escape their web. Blake of course is opposed to genocide. 

What's a little genocide amongst washed up pop stars? Huh?

Of course, inevitably, sensors pick up pursuit ships closing in. Blake and Avon are captured, again, but the Decimas burst into the complex and murder, death, kill their creators. Blake uses the power cells to send a fungicide beam into space to clear the web. Yes, you read that right. They make good their escape bantering the whole time. 

Final Thoughts:
I'm not going to beat around the bush. This episode was weak. Poor script. Poor execution. I feel like more time should have been spent fighting the federation in the earlier episodes with the occasional stand alone. Having Cally possessed in her second episode also made it harder to establish her character as a vital member of the crew. 

As usual though there were great moments of dialogue. We get the usual "I need to reprogram that computer" from Avon. And the ever present nihilism vs idealism is still present. Blake wants to save the Decimas. Avon is all for sacrificing them to save himself. 

We do get a little shift in Blakes attitude towards Avon. When he thinks Avon is in danger he doesn't hesitate to rush to save him while screaming that he had a friend in danger. 

Still, philosophical debates and sharp dialogue can only make up for so much. I would have liked to have seen a tighter script, better use of all the characters and maybe more realistic effects. If you can't make the Decimas look like realistic non humans then I say pull a Trek. Paint them blue and just use plain ole people. Not the worst episode ever, but dang close. 

Rating: 2 out of 5

Memorable Quote:
After Blake is saved by Avon from an explosion. 
Blake: Thank you... why?
Avon: Automatic reaction, I'm as surprised as you are.

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